Certainty

Time Spent : 10 Hours
Redraws : 1 (Semi)
Brushes : Camel Hair Flat/Round, Oil Flat/Round, Impasto Tool.
Canvas : Wet/Coarse

I think the painting got more comments and views than I honestly cared for at the end of the day. Questions, interpretations and concerns ranging from evil to futuristic to simple poor people searching for a greater purpose, lost souls looking for love. Then on the other side it drove a few people to temporary madness and tears. Who would think something that I alone know the true value of would create such chaos. And in this retrospect I will share my thoughts very much logically rather than emotionally, as that is still mine alone.

There is little doubt that drawing, or doing anything for that matter, for ten hours straight sends one into an alternate state of mind or trance if you will. I am a victim of abstract paradoxes and this will no doubt heighten that disease.

The picture depicts more than one memory therefore there is a tangled chaos of emotions and memories smashed into a fairly small virtual canvas. While I do not know Samantha from a hole in the ground I am certain that in an odd way drawing that scene for ten hours would take me as close to her as I would ever get regardless of whether I would end up sharing a real life moment with her, remain an acquaintance for a short life span or god forbid become a friend.

The picture meant one thing to me and that was love. Love in its true untouched form. The type we have forgotten the type we don’t care for anymore. Love was never a compromise and at the bottom of it the two beings in the painting was neither Samantha or her “nangi baba to me at they are merely visions of two people closer than my self to I. However only subtle changes that no one would probably notice separates the entities.

On that note there were also very clear visible differences between the original photograph and the painting. The hair was the most prominent one. There is only one instance where curly/wavy hair would be overrun in my head and while I cannot explain that in a note what I can say is that the thought pattern is one equivalent of angel wings.

Now on the two girls and women in the picture. You’d probably say there are only two people, so… it is just girls or women or a girl and a woman. Hardly. The woman has inside her a girl and the girl inside her a woman. Two entities’ that should always be present. Yet we lose one as we grow older and become the other that is sadly reality. And even tho we do lose one within our imagination and own mirrors it does not mean the other has died or does not exist.

Another clear difference some people asked me about was the detail that went into the older girl versus the little one. Now this was deliberate, and not me getting lazy. I started off with the older one as she walked first it was only natural to follow evolution. When I started initially I actually started with the beach because that was there before either but I decided to remove it because the beach has its own story and trying to throw that into this mess would only make an already chaotic situation worse.

The human skin holds our life stories. Consider it a Papyrus if you may with every little event etched in invisible ink that most people don’t even know exists. Again the lack of the physical presence of Samantha in my eyes or her baby sister severely limits my ability to portray exactly which I’d want to but then on the other side it let me utilize my own memories to complete it. So in that light the older ones skin contains more strokes. Each one representing stories of sadness, happiness, love, tears and anger while the younger soul is much more pure and untouched by the madness of the world. Hence, logically lesser strokes and lines.

I absolutely fail at depicting hands and being the instruments they are I had to severely think about what I was going to do with them as they seem to hold the essence of the picture. Which led me to the sand being no doubt the secrets of the universe. And like the universe and its secrets it is blurry compared to the rest of the detail. Giving me a solution to my dilemma. In another light my own perhaps it was the handing down of wisdom or knowledge and that too is often interpreted and given only in away the two souls involved would know the true meaning hence further justifying my blur.

The saddest depiction I got was the evil idea. It made me wonder how people would see only what they wanted to see. I started out on this only to make a point of true unconditional love that was the only certain thing, and yet someone would take a few lines of colour and turn it into the darker soul that I apparently sold to the devil for some reason beyond me. Whispers utter it was a trade off for talent. All I have to say is that it was one crappy deal in that case.

I could not make out the faces of the photograph at all and thus led to me again drawing from my own memory to fill it out. At first I did not define a face for the little girl as it somehow seemed impossible. But then searching deeper into my soul I found certain snapshots that in the end led to the expression on her face to highlight myself and perhaps a vision of an own daughter.

The strangest emotion I felt strangely came directly from this girl I did not know at all. I have never drawn the full body of a woman/girl before. It’s usually just the face and hair just above the chest at most. When I got to the legs it was almost as if the pen was not existent. And it slightly freaked me out a little because it was simply equivalent to me touching a woman and this was probably more amplified than the real act of stroking ones fingers down a gorgeous pair of legs simply because of all the connotations. I’m not sure if she felt anything at all in reality possibly not but then again I’d like to believe in things in between science and religion. Either way it paves way for a great story of pure intimacy and connection if not seen in a perverted light. No doubt this bit of sharing is going to give my already lovely reputation a new tag.

To wrap up, I stared at the almost finished product for a while trying to think of what to call it. And how to complete the background. I figured leaving it blank was the best ploy. Possibly speaking the infinite pure power of real love. And thus Love was no doubt going to be the tittle. And that’s when I accidentally drew a line and it was almost as if the universe it self-being the artist she was thought the only thing required to complete this flawed masterpiece was indeed a heart containing her symbol and the heart came into play. I wonder if many people noticed that as no one really mentioned it to me thus far. The darker lines coming from the older side represents hurt and pain no doubt while the other side is untouched and pure forming the perfect blend of equilibrium. Love conquers all. True love does and in this moment there was plenty and as long as the painting lives it is immortal.  Much more hopeful than you or I.

About to christen it “Love” something made me stop and listen to the unknown voice of Samantha whispering in my head reminding me the little conversation we shared and for some reason that conversation held a better title. She would not hear a word of how love would be the only certain thing but I guess this is where being the creator has its perks.

Certainty
Death can be cheated and taxes evaded only love is certain. At any given time there is someone who you love or loves you.

 

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