Should those two words ever exist side by side? Well apparently they do.
The reality of the statement hit me rather hard today as I came across an apparent dancer, on one of the photography social networking sites, who I would’ve liked to photograph. She said she had no intention of sitting and talking to me about herself, discussing what dance meant to her or getting personal with a stranger. She didn’t even want to talk to me over the phone. She wanted concepts and ideas to be emailed. And the only thing she was willing to do was come down to a set place and time say Hello, lets the camera go click, click say bye, bye and leave. And I was sitting over at my computer wondering what on earth.
Martha Graham said
Dance is the hidden language of the soul
So how can that be impersonal? How would I photograph a dancer and capture the movements of her soul, however futile it may be, without being personal. How would I see what she is trying to portray and say to the universe if I didn’t feel it?
It is bizarre what has happened to the world with the digital revolution. Especially on an arts and creativity front. Everything has become impersonal – you’d rather meet someone online than in reality. You’d have conversations without ever knowing what the other persons voice sounds like. How it fuses with your own, and how it makes you feel. Emotions. Souls. It is strange how the 21st century seems to have completely eradicated the need for a soul, and or feeling emotions because for a good part of the last two thousand centuries people were constantly, actively looking for their souls. Makes a Zombie Apocalypse or Skynet takeover seemingly possible.
It is even stranger how people believe that it is safer when one meets another impersonally. All the technology in the world cannot amount to the processing and marvel power of the human mind. They can couple an infinite number of graphic processors with an array of cool names, that process colour at 187.5 billion pixels per second, but it would still lag behind the human eye so badly that it would make an Unreal or Call Of Duty player have a seizure and pass on, god bless his poor soul. (On that note I’m fairly sure fighting and killing each other also is going to end up impersonal now. Even more so than a wealthy man sitting on a comfortable chair using poor men, women and children to fight useless disputes for them.) All the fancy graphic advancements like GPU Boost 2.0, 3D Vision, CUDA, DirectX 11, PhysX, TXAA, Adaptive VSync, FXAA, 3D Vision Surround etcetera etcetera will never be able to visualise and show us what Tolkien or Lucas saw in their heads. It will never be able to imagine that far. Thus the world’s fastest graphic processor is not an ATI or Nvidia chip but the human brain.
And whatever anyone would say I reckon the human brain runs on emotion and feelings. Its nuclear reactor the soul. Its canvas sleep and dreams. But we don’t want to feel, we don’t want to dream, we don’t want to connect with the universe or mother so we suppress them. We write a big fat book and title it human disorders. We medicate ourselves. We short circuit our processors. Thus we trade out masterpieces, made in flesh and bone, for objects forged in cold dead steel. Plett’s little saying comes to mind.
So how can art be impersonal? I’m honestly not really sure. When I try to create something I drive into the depths of my soul. Depression, anger, hurt, love, happiness, hope. Regardless of whether it’s by myself or in collaboration. While I’m not proud of it I would even go as far as coxing an emotional response just to see the beauty in expression. The beauty that is lost in negative spaces as we deem it.
So now comes the point where you ask yourself do you give in? Do you become plasticine? Do you not feel? Do you just join the masses and say all this is useless I will not get anywhere? I actually wondered for s second whether I should tell this girl ok fine let’s do it your way. Was I that desperate? For a pretty picture of a girl who could twirl? And then I went through some of my work. They all spoke to me. Memories. Emotions. Some with a bad aftertaste, some with lessons and some purely filled with innocent smiles. And my soul screams. And it says NO! I am human. I am creator. I am a son of the greatest artist in the world, mother earth. And she and the universe does not accord with zombies. I am alive. And I will create with all my soul, all my heart and I hope you will too. We must still dare to dream and dare to believe.